Close to the end

The anxiety I felt from the horrifying surgery has been too much to bare. I have been left dealing with somataform disorder or 'somatic' disorder. I blame myself, it was my choice to believe in plastic surgery that ruined my life. It was one persons decision to do 'standard' procedures and ruin my body which led to severe panic attacks and severe pain manifesting in my body. I've been praying to god day and night to undo the plastic surgery operations I've had. I don't understand why Dr Corazon didn't listen to me and why she decided to do something completely different to what we agreed.  But I have a feeling it is because she wanted to train two trainees in standard procedures.

I'm left here to bare the pain and regret. And it's too much for me. I'm left taking pain killers and muscle relaxants. This is a lesson learned the hard way. I wish I fought my desire for plastic surgery.

This just goes to show folks, when the Devil arises, the weak go forth. And that's exactly what happened. The Devil whispered in her ear and she said yes. Because apparently training two students and making a little extra $$$ is that important.

The worst part is she really lied about her offences even though she did nothing in our agreement.

I take accountability for trusting a greedy person with my body.

Now I am going to succumb to death. Because I can't handle the anxiety of what has happened to my body.

People remember don't believe in plastic surgery.

It's not worth it when it ruins your life.

A Brush with Death

I didn't think I would make it today. I went to the dining room but I felt very dizzy. I fell to the floor in excruciating pain. Still, I was determined to eat the Pizza my step mother had prepared.

As I was lying down I thought "This is it, I'm going to die" This must have hapenned 4 or 5 times and once I fainted, made a hole in the wall and wokeup in hospital diagnosed with Mitral Valve Prolapse in the heart.

Prior to surgery with Dr Corazon Collantes, I was diagnosed perfectly healthy. Since her surgery, I've battled extreme illness, hellucinations and unbearable depression. I lost my ability to study and have been bedridden ever since.

I still don't understand why someone would lie to me and impose something so far from what we agreed upon.

I know it was not a good idea revising my nose when I was battling an infection from her surgery, but I could not cope with what she put on my face. It was not me, and it took my attractiveness away from me.

I understand now bad people live in this world, and they do not care about people, only making money. Dr Corazon lied allot to me about what she did and why she did it, she revealed to me that really she is just a very nice snake who fell in love with money. When I met her, she revealed she had a housekeeper, 2 drivers and a gardener. I wonder how she managed to build an empire on the blood and bones of innocent people?

None of her staff would even consider getting surgery with Dr Corazon. It's likely they saw even worse than what she did to me.

This isn't Plastic Surgery. It is a Plastic Surgeon. The only reason why she fixed the inside of my nose is because the nose surgeon she employed called the shots. The reason she went general on my liposuction was to teach other students how to do basic liposuction.

I did not know I would recieve such a poor result. My mistake was judging her on her word not her work.

There were many surgeons that would have done much better work, but I dismissed them and chose Dr Corazon because of her impressive Resume. I really wish I gave soneone else a chance instead of riding them off for lack of experience. I wasted my time, my body and my life on a surgeon who was a fraud and did not care. It was just the way she said things that made her appear as though she knew what she was doing. Such as calling other surgeons work 'Botched' and then herself botching her patients and providing tangible explanations as to the dissapointing outcomes of her own work. I think her play on words won her the 'fame game' but it was not the absolute truth.

It's sad that this is hapenning in this day and age and people are calling it acceptable. How someone can make money by shattering someones dreams and destroy their life and respond with 'What more could you want?'.

Unfortunately this is the world Im living in and these are the kinds of people living in it. Insincere, fraudulent type people who can make their fortune by any means, even if it creates profound human suffering.

Bugs

I had seen various bugs leave my body. I have felt crawling sensations. I identified one as a stink bug.

Other things ive seen leave my body which I did not see before my surgery are mites, fleas, crawlies (looks like little spider ants) my skin goes yellow like sometimes and I don't look as young as I used to.

My body feels very stiff.

I spoke to someone online and he told me about the term "necrophages". Bugs that help matter decompose.

Yupp. Im the living dead.

It doesn't matter how much I use my rife machine or take herbs, my body is still under enermous stress. Trying to survive while nature wishes to finish me off.

Having a possible myserious disease on top of all this does not make it easier.

Despite my slow and steady decline into death, no lawyer in manilla is willing to help me without a quite a fee. Whatabout out of good stature? Ha!

When the bhagadvagita spoke of this reality as sinful, it wasn't kidding!

I didn't realize this world is overcrowded with arrogant people. If I knew, I don't think I would put so much faith in it. The minute they have an oppertunity to do a good deed, their ego convinces them otherwise.

So im dying without proper recognition, not being assisted by any lawyer and the decieving surgeon keeps my money towards her 'lifestyle of the rich and famous' retirement fund. Meanwhile im spending every cent I have trying to survive.

Crumbs!